S2

you can't pop in my life whenever you'd like. you need to always be there or you need to not be there at all. you won't ever be able to completely understand what you constantly walking in and out does to me. it turns my hopes into something bigger and then the next day you go back to pretending i don't exist. we'll talk all night and you'll say cute things, then the next day its back to nothing. you've become a stranger to me, we rarely talk anymore besides on those nights you acknowledge me or actually answer me. i'm afraid to become familiar with you again because the last time i did that i was left. its like you don't want me to know your next move, you don't want me to know anything about you. call me crazy but i think you care about me. you have to care about me some what. but the thing is you don't do these things to people you care about. that's where i'm confused. it seems like you've been playing mind games with me for the past almost 2 years. honest to god, i'm convinced you have this radar where when i'm not thinking about you, you'll pop in and make me think about you. then like i said, its back to nothing in less than 24 hours. i'm not going into the new year with all of this, everything that has ever been left unsaid on my chest. i'm starting fresh with or without you. i've lost you before and i've had you before, it makes no difference to me anymore. i've learned to deal. i'd rather you stay but i'm not going to make you stay, cause like i said, i've learned to deal and i've adjusted to life without you even though i'd rather it be the other way.