3x0

this is where i'm supposed to be. you can feel it in the sunshine. in the infinite scene that pauses time for a moment. where you're holding your breath and you don't realize it. when repetitive words seem routined, usual. when the shade is the heat and anything better would remind you of the beginning. when unusual faces, strangers, the unfamiliar, becomes the most familiar part of it all. when your moment becomes their trippin. when the best becomes the worst and i am the next best. when the world is in your fingertips and forever has never been closer to hold. when really it's not at all.

Crutch

It's where the song takes you. It's how each word has so much meaning in one moment. It's how you feel invincible, infinite. It lets you create your own story, one that replaces the older ones. It's how it seems that for just a few hours, there's enough to go around. The song takes you to a home you were unaware you had. A home you don't ever, ever want to leave.

I think he knew that when it happened, it would be the end. Maybe that's why he did it. Secretly, I think it's why I did it too.

is it the way the music hits you? is it the way your feelings are intensified? more good than bad? is it how things seem a little brighter? a little greener? is it how you can think so clearly? is it how your heart speaks so loudly? what keeps you returning? what always allows your feet to move but face ascend? what shows you to shine? whos faith is tied around your arm? around your finger?

your home is my home

His stories remind me of ours. Each leads down a dark street that hides behind shadows through the street lights, but each is lightly essenced with slight humor. He tells them with a beaming smile and a laugh with an uncertain tone because he's unsure of how long things will feel this way. He sleeps early through the nights, his restless body takes in energy through the dreams he dreams. He dreams you won't ever forget, he dreams that you will. He knows a weakness is coming on, he knows the streak will break, the sun will slip behind the clouds; he's just unaware of when. What he isn't doing is preparing. What he doesn't know is that the storm doesn't hit as hard when you are.

Waiting til the shine wears off

Often, when I'm embarrasing myself, I laugh. Not out of nervousness, because I can embarrass myself when I'm alone. It's funny though. While I'm singing terribly to songs or skipping around like a giddy kid, I think about what the deceased think about me. Thats not meant to sound crazy, its meant to sound honest. I laugh at myself because I think of how many of them are wishing they might have come across me in their lifetime or how many of them did the same thing, or how many of them wish they had. Stuff like that gives me strange hope because as crazy as this also sounds, I myself believe that someone who's dead, a guy in particular, could be like "I'd want to be with this girl." Its a controversial issue. I believe that the dead do surround us, some that are alive and living like their dead, and plain spirits that hold unfinished business. I also believe that the dead can see what they want to, who they want to, when they want to.

I'm not worried about a thing. Some will love me.

relax, relax; exhale and breathe

The old feeling returns. Personal security, assurance, is restored. Light from reflections beam showing optimistic eyes. Hopefulness returns but so does uncertainty of what to hope for. The chill curved in directions of repetition but slight doubt changed everyones mind. Unavoidable sentences cleared the path ahead making it vivid that sanity was still avaliable, especially to those who craved it. The story behind it all will stay behind but the feeling of unfinished business still remains. Words aren't done being spoken, I can taste in it the air and more so in the words. The ending of sentences don't mean a thing, it's not the end.

Its like I'm falling asleep with my eyes open

I think musical artist are trying to make up for the bad things that have happened to us all. Some of them write apologies in their lyrics, the saddest and most heart felt apologies we'll ever hear. It like they're stepping inside of someone elses shoes and taking the rightful place of giving you words that are long overdue. It
may not be coming from the person you'd like to hear say it, even still though, its coming. What they say, you know its true.

"You'll be loved like you never have known. And the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams, just a series of blurs like I never occurred."

I don't write like I did before because I'm not who I was before. Times have changed, thoughts have changed, things have happened. That not a bad thing at all. I'm moving forward again.