I know its late and my voice is cracking

I'm sitting outside, freezing, but I don't want to go inside. This is the feeling I like, this is the weather I crave. My arms have goosebumps crawling up them, and the tips of my fingers have already began to lose feeling, but I'm not ready to go inside. The leaves change really does have a certain beauty. I'm watching this tree blow, and as boring as it seems, it's something else. Every leaf moves in pattern, some falling off and some blowing away, but some refusing to let go of there place. The pumpkins are lit up, shining a pretty orange but not anything the leaves consider as competition. I smell a fire from a distance, I wish I was there, with those people, those strangers. I don't know why I love this weather so much. We lose feeling in our hands and feet, we shiver, we shake, we complain (well, not so much me, I'm the one writing a blog about it.) People driving by probably think I'm crazy, but they could probably never understand or see what I see in fall. It's fragility, and it's my personal calm after the storm. After the long summer, this is where I truly make something out of it. Everyone else is left numb but it takes me back to things. It makes me remember and it's this time of year I appreciate remembering most; even the bad things.

A lack of color

Fall is the prettiest season ever, and I'm not sure why I think that. It's not the leaves I find beautiful about fall, or even the decorations that are put up. It's the feeling you get when fall comes. It's cold weather and replaying memories. You wear scarves and hats to bundle up your head, to bundle the mind that carries so many secrets. You wear boots to finally protect the next heart you walk on, trying to walk on it gracefully but even sometimes still managing to trip over your own two feet because of the wind that carries you to wonders you've never had. You say things that were left unsaid before and you feel the most alone you ever have, but it's beautiful, and it's one of the best feelings out there even though the bed spot next to you is still cold.