I forgot exactly what this quote said, but it was beautiful. It said how to live everything up, each day especially, because once that day is gone you can't ever change it, it stays in the past as something to remember.
I never think of anything that way. When I'm doing things, when I'm laughing, when I'm crying, I don't realize I'm making my own history. I think of it as another day, but then a year later I'm remembering that day.
It's so hard for me to write something so pretty with music that I don't find inspiring. I can't do pretty things without pretty sounds, without pretty inspirations and pretty memories even if they are sort of ugly. The prettiest memories are the ugliest, I've learned.
Fragile people are the most beautiful. They seem so vulnerable and so weak, but there's a light in them that shines brighter than ever. Theres a brighter side to being vulnerable, and weak. You fall in love. Its not as easy to fall in love when you have your guard protecting the pounding in your chest. A pencil and paper, a keyboard and screen, won't ever be able to cover that feeling I had; before, and after everything happened. You weren't fragile, but you were still beautiful. I was drawn to you because of that. You were hostile and destructive. Your smirk could con the entire city, but they'd fall in love with you as you did. Being on the subject of that time gives me goosebumps everywhere even though I'm not cold. I shake because of how clear the memory of you remains, and how easily I can allow myself to slip back into this time. I close my eyes and see everything. I feel the damp grass against my feet, the pulse in my heart going, the laughter going on between us all, the darkness in the trees and the streetlights shining brightly, the sweat out of nervousness, the temptation to make something happen. Something great, something beautiful. Shivering like this, frantically, makes me kind of sick. Just when I think I'm done, I'm not, but maybe thats the beauty of it.
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